Made Like Martha

8 Suggestions for Marriages with Adoptive, Foster Care and Special Needs Parenting

Marriage is a total yet daily commitment. Add the joyful privilege (yet often stressful life) of adoption, foster care, or special needs parenting to marriage, and it can be easy to lose focus.

Following are my 8 suggestions for marriages with adoptive, foster care and special needs parenting (just for fun, I added Top 40 song titles as headings):

1. Right Here Waiting

Make time for each other, even if it is a few minutes a day. Time for a back rub, or simply time to actually look each other in the eye and asking about their day. Appreciate each other. We can find the time. It’s making it a priority that we often struggle with.

2. It Takes Two, Baby

Always remember that you are a team. It is not just you or only your spouse. You are of one flesh now; it is the two of you, together and with God, that takes on whatever the day may bring. When you focus on facing what comes together, as a team, you will gain strength.

3. Laughter in the Rain

Finding the humor in situations many would gasp at is part of being in relationship. Jahn and I have so many “inside” jokes. The most stressful moments can bring about howls of laughter. Laughter is a natural stress-buster. We may look crazy, but it is balm for our weary souls.

4. Let’s Get Physical

We need to be good to ourselves. Get up and go to bed at the same time each day (as much as you possibly can). Take your prescription medication and vitamins as directed. Exercise, even if it means with the kids in tow. Get outside at least 20 minutes a day. We all know this stuff. Make putting it into practice a priority. Keeping our body healthy spills over into our mental and emotional selves, and helps us keep balanced.

5. Keep Our Love Alive

Keeping romance in your marriage takes work. So, get out the candles, your favorite CD (or dare I say, mix-tape?), and lower the lights. Acknowledge what you have always found attractive about each other. Regardless of how you are expressing your physical affection for each other (yes, cuddling is great and can be an endgame), acknowledging that part of your relationship in a number of small ways throughout your day is a great way to keep romance alive.

6. Blame It on the Rain

We can blame the rain, but never blame each other. We need to bite our lips, and not let those “I told you so’s” out. Blame is completely destructive. We need to save the sarcastic humor for time with our girlfriends, and use every word to build up our spouses.

7. The Heart of the Matter

One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn in my marriage is to practice forgiveness. I had to learn to forgive even when I was in the right. To allow unforgiveness to creep into our most intimate relationship will erode it from the inside out. To be able to forgive is to touch a bit of the divine. We who have been forgiven so much by God himself, must learn the act of humility that is forgiveness and practice it always.

8. Livin’ on a Prayer

Make time in your day for each other and use it wisely. Praying together is a great investment in your marriage relationship. Pray for each other aloud. Whatever is important to our spouse is important to us. It is amazing the intimacy praying together, and for each other, builds.

God’s love for us models the marriage relationship for us. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 isn’t just for our wedding ceremonies (wink). This Bible passage serves as a great reminder for us in the journey of marriage, as well.

Peace & grace,
Kim

*This topic was suggested by Stop! Hammock Time with Katie M. Reid (Facebook Page). Be sure to look for our interview there:)

5 Ways to Turn Worry Into Worship

My thoughts/review of “Made Like Martha – Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done” by Katie M. Reid

I recently finished my friend’s first book. Wow. Such a neglected topic. I found portions of her book speaking directly to my got-to-finish-this-one-last-thing heart in both a poignant and encouraging way.

So many things to do…always. I’m sharing my heart here…and yesterday’s list (as proof).

I had an evening free up late last week, and I was excited to have the unexpected hours to read. Every chance I got, I was reading this book. A rare thing, my friends.

If you have often identified more with Martha (than her sister, Mary), then, THIS book is for you.

One of my favorite area’s was in Chapter Two, entitled, The Worry-and-Worship Conflict. This chapter tagged me right where I live.

I have noticed my worry growing over the past few years (it was on my radar). I am so thankful to Katie for addressing it beautifully for me (thank you, heavenly Father, for reaching out to me through my friend).

It starts on (approximately) page 28 (I am reading an advanced copy, so it may be on a nearby page).

Here’s just a taste….

  1. Recount the characteristics of God – I love the scripture Katie used here as an example.
  2. Recall specific promises of God – Don’t be tempted to throw in the towel.
  3. Remember God’s faithfulness in the past – So good. I have so many examples. You, too?
  4. Release the situation to God’s keeping – Her example here is great.
  5. Rest in who you are in Christ – Such a great reminder here – a must read.

There is so much good stuff waiting for us “Marthas” in this book. I haven’t gone through the Bible study portion yet. Maybe we can do it together (a little later in the year)?

Made Like Martha releases today, Tuesday, July 10. Get your copy now!

More about my friend, Katie M. Reid (who was featured on Ann Voskamp’s blog yesterday):

Katie M. Reid is a firstborn overachiever and a modern-day Martha. As an avid blogger, Katie provides posts, articles, letters, and other resources for try-hard women on an ongoing basis. She encourages others to unwind in God’s Presence–through her writing, as well as through her speaking–as they find grace in the unraveling life.

Katie has published articles with Huffington Post, Focus on the Family, iBelieve, Crosswalk, MOPS, (in)courage, God-sized Dreams, Purposeful Faith, Inspiring Families, and many other websites. She is also a contributing writer for iBelieve.com and Lightworkers.com and has been syndicated on ForEveryMom.com.

More about “Made Like Martha:”

Though she didn’t sit at Jesus’s feet like her sister Mary, biblical Martha was loved just as she was — and you are too. The new book, Made Like Martha, invites modern-day Marthas to sit down spiritually as they exchange try-hard striving for hope-filled freedom without abandoning their doer’s heart in the process. This practical resource is an invitation for overachievers to discover what it means to rest as God’s daughters without compromising their God-given design as doers.

Doers need to be affirmed in their innate design to do rather than sit, yet also be reminded that they don’t have to overdo it in order to be worthy. This book is not an exhortation to add or subtract things off your to-do list, but it is an invitation to embrace the “good” of the Good News. It’s an offer to step into your position as a daughter of God and to enjoy life as a doer.

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